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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29332920">Stupid Cupid</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/noveltyromance/pseuds/noveltyromance'>noveltyromance</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack Fic, F/M, Sorry for the swearing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:35:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,267</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29332920</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/noveltyromance/pseuds/noveltyromance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Penelope grunted in affront. Who knew Cupid was such an ass?</p><p>“Now that we established that, tell me who I need to hit with my arrow.” </p><p>“Okay, let’s say I believe your madness,” he rolled his eyes at her, “let’s say I do, obviously I would want help with Colin.”</p><p>“Finally, we’re talking,” Cupid exclaimed as he stretched his arms in preparation. “No problem, girl. I would take care of it. Although, I do have to put out a disclaimer. If he has pre-existing affection for you, it will disappear when my arrow strikes. Have to say that. Litigation is expensive nowadays. If I get sued one more time, my insurance will drop me.” </p><p>“I don’t think it’s going to be a problem,” she said resolutely.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>214</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>My Fantasies Always Include You</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The 12th Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/barricadegal/gifts">barricadegal</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my early Valentine's day gift to you all Polin readers. Yes, it reads like a crack fic. Sorry for the abundant swear words. This is a three-shot. Part 2 is coming up soon. </p><p>To you anon, who inspired me to write this, why did you do that? </p><p>To you readers, let me know what's up!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“Desperation night?” Penelope asked as she fiddled with the mini umbrella of her fruity drink. </p><p>Eloise gulped down her martini and perused the bar, making a sweeping gesture with her hand. “The night before Valentine’s day. All those poor unfortunate souls alone and desperate to find a partner for Valentine’s day. Come tomorrow evening, this place would be swarming with the lot. It would be both sad and vicious.” </p><p>“I’m one of those poor unfortunate souls,” she retorted, annoyance heavy on her face. </p><p>“Exactly why you should let me set you up with one of Philip’s coworkers. I’ll save you from desperation night.” </p><p>“Nice try,” she said with a laugh. Penelope tried to catch the eye of the bartender but he was too busy ogling the pretty blond on the other side of the bar. After a few tries, she gave up and turned to her friend instead. “I’m not into blind dates. Or dates in general, really.” </p><p>“Is it because Colin’s coming back tomorrow?”</p><p>She refused to meet her gaze. “It’s not <em> not </em> because of him. I’m just busy right now.” </p><p>“Please, I know you more than you know yourself.” Eloise snippily said. “You’re keeping yourself available for him”</p><p>She squawked in indignation. “That’s fucking dumb. You’re dumb. I am not-you’re...you big dumb.” </p><p>“Hmm, and here I thought you were the master of words. How’s your English degree working out for you?” </p><p>“Shut up.” </p><p>Eloise cackled. “All I’m saying is that instead of waiting for him, you should either move on or make a move on him. Any action is fine. Watching you pine for him all these time was like watching paint dry. It’s bloody painful.” </p><p>“Why? Did he say anything about me?” She could not help the hopeful lilt in her voice. </p><p>“Like he’d talk to me about his lovelife,” Eloise said in a huff. The Bridgerton girl was closer to Benedict than with Colin. “Ask Daph. She’d know.” </p><p>Penelope slumped in her seat. “We text a lot, you know. And he tells me stuff about everything. He shares a lot of personal stuff with me. Like the other day, we were talking about existentialism and the meaning of life. We really connect, you know? He's always there for me. I just can't picture loving any other men in my life but him. He's completely ruined other men for me. But he never told me that he likes me, <em> romantic styles. </em>And now, he’s coming back and I’ll see him again. It’s giving me hope that I don’t need.” </p><p>“Ooh, that’s just like him, dangling a carrot over your head,” Eloise ground out in disgust. “Bite, little horsie, bite!” </p><p>“He’s not like that. I’m the problem. I’ve been into him for so long. And I’m so proud of myself that I can talk to him normally without acting like he hung the moon and stars. We’re great friends now. But why do I feel so greedy? I want more. I’ll always want more,” she uttered, completely defeated. </p><p>“Maybe you should just bang him out of your system,” Eloise mused. </p><p>Her cheeks reddened to a tomato-ish hue. “I wish. I’ll just wait until he leaves again and I’ll be rid of these pesky feelings.”</p><p>Her friend gave her cheek a gentle pat. “Alright. You need time to get over my brother. I’ll give you that. But as soon as you are over him, I’m going to set you up with every eligible male friend I know. Double dates all around! You know how much I love brunch.”</p><p>“You’re literally the best.” </p><p>“I know.”   </p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Penelope stayed at the bar for a while after Eloise left. When she left, it was already almost midnight. The glittering lights and the chilly air made her wish she had a warm body to cuddle with. It would have been romantic, walking in the city hand in hand. She spied a very affectionate couple sharing a kiss. </p><p>Envy does not become her, she had to remember. </p><p>She continued to walk, cutting her way across a well-lit park. </p><p>She had no qualms about being alone. She’s very comfortable, really. But some days, <em> she calls them her slump days </em>, the solitary feeling comes back full force. Maybe it’s a symptom of having an unrequited love. Or maybe it’s the imminent desperation night, bringing out all her insecurities. </p><p>
  <em> Valentine’s day can suck it. </em>
</p><p>She laughed out loud because she can’t believe she’s quoting Eloise’s nonsense. But she retracted it after seeing passerby's giving her a weird look. She kept her head down and briskly ambled to her way.  </p><p>Half-way through, she saw a haggardly dressed man, with a bushy beard, clutching a cup. His jacket was far too thin for the wintry night. Believing it was an unfortunate vagrant, she deposited some coins in his cup as she walked by. </p><p>“What the fuck? I was drinking that!” he gruffly yelled out. </p><p>“Oh my god. I am so sorry. I thought you were a hobo,” she apologized, thoroughly embarrassed.  </p><p>“God! I can’t even enjoy a cup of coffee!” the man exploded, sloshing the liquid from the cup around. </p><p>“I am so sorry! I’ll replace it.” </p><p>“You better!” </p><p>“I know a diner not too far from here.” </p><p>He glared at her, eyeing her up and down. “Fine.”</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>He ordered his coffee and a slice of pie. Penelope just asked for water. </p><p>The man wolfed down the pie in three bites. A rush of pity took over her. He was seemingly down on his luck. And looking at the poor state of his clothing, he was sure to have a difficult night outside.</p><p>“We can order another slice if you want.” </p><p>He gave her a suspicious stare. “Alright, how the fuck did you know it was me?”</p><p>“Excuse me?”</p><p>“How did you know I’m Cupid? You obviously want something from me.”</p><p>She stared at him, dumbfounded. <em> He’s crazy. </em> She’s in a diner sitting across a dirty, crazy hobo that she invited. </p><p>“You...You’re Cupid?”</p><p>“Keep it down, will you? Too many people lurking around,” he hissed at her.</p><p>“Right,” she mumbled in a low voice. “I didn’t know that you think you’re Cupid. And I think we’re done here.” </p><p>She moved to stand up but he forced her down. </p><p>“I need to return your favor now, girl,” he harrumphed. “We, gods, don’t take unpaid favors lightly when we’re on the receiving end. It ends up kicking us in the ass later down the road.” </p><p>“Look, you obviously are going through something mentally right now. I already paid for your ruined coffee and it’s really late. Best of luck to you, sir,” Penelope hurriedly rambled as she started to get up. </p><p>He levelled a gaze before slamming his fist on the table. At the impact, the low buzz of the almost empty diner disappeared and the light from the fluorescent bulbs seemed to dim. The door on the far right corner appeared to have moved a few yards away from them. The need to rush out seemed to die out. She stood frozen, just staring at him.   </p><p>“How-?”</p><p>“Never mind that, girl. Just tell me who I need to hit with my arrow.”  </p><p>“I am not going to be a part of murder,” she said, horrified at the thought. </p><p>He looked at her like she was the dumbest thing he’s ever seen.  “Of all the cynics in London tonight, it had to be you.” </p><p>“I don’t understand.” </p><p>“Come with me and I’ll show you,” he sighed as he stood up. </p><p>“Okay, I don’t know you. You could be the Craigslist Killer for all I know. You could chop me up and eat my liver the next day.”</p><p>“Who the fuck eats someone else’s liver? And why the bloody hell would I want to wait the next day to eat someone’s liver?!” </p><p>“I don’t know!” </p><p>“I’m not a cannibal. I’m Cupid. The son of Aphrodite and Ares? Ring any bells?”</p><p>“You’re a complete stranger. A little fruit loops for my taste,” she said, rejecting his offer. </p><p>He took a deep breath. He, then, grabbed her hand and snapped his finger. There was an odd ring to the sound of his fingers snapping. Like it echoed from a deep cave, with the bass undertone vibrating under her very skin. </p><p>“Penelope Featherington, currently in love with her best friend’s brother, Colin Bridgerton, for eight years now. Ooh and still going. You’re a tough one. Hope springs eternal, eh?” </p><p>Her jaw dropped comically. “How did you…”</p><p>“I’m Cupid. How many times do I have to tell you?”</p><p>“But you look like a hobo,” she said, still bewildered. She pulled her hand away from him. </p><p>“I’m incognito,” he explained. “My services are too high in demand when Lupercalia comes in. Too many people asking for favors.”</p><p>“Lupercalia, the pagan holiday superseded by Valentine’s day” Penelope said in awe. </p><p>“Oh good, you’re not a complete buffoon.” </p><p>Penelope grunted in affront. <em> Who knew Cupid was such an ass? </em></p><p>“Now that we established that, tell me who I need to hit with my arrow.” </p><p>“Okay, let’s say I believe your madness,” he rolled his eyes at her, “let’s say I do, obviously I would want help with Colin.”</p><p>“Finally, we’re talking,” Cupid exclaimed as he stretched his arms in preparation. “No problem, girl. I would take care of it. Although, I do have to put out a disclaimer. If he has pre-existing affection for you, it will disappear when my arrow strikes. Have to say that. Litigation is expensive nowadays. If I get sued one more time, my insurance will drop me.” </p><p>“I don’t think it’s going to be a problem,” she said resolutely. </p><p>“Only if you’re sure.”  </p><p>“Aren’t you the god of love? Can’t you just confirm it for me?”</p><p>“My powers do not work like that,” he scoffed. “I need to physically touch someone to get a reading of their current love status as well as their history.” </p><p>“That’s very limiting, isn’t it?” </p><p>“You’re telling me. I already petitioned to the high court but Mother says she needs to be impartial,” he almost whined. </p><p>“Right.” </p><p>“Alright, once I strike him with one of my love arrows, we’re even for the coffee.” </p><p>“Of course! Do I need to come with you?”</p><p>“Nah, I changed my mind. I got it covered. You just need to wake up now,” he said right before he finished the cup of coffee on the table. </p><p>“Wake up?”</p><p>“Yeah, your alarm is ringing.” </p><p>She heard a familiar ringing on her right ear, getting increasingly louder. She whipped around to see what it was but she could not see anything. She turned back to Cupid but he was gone, as was the booth they sat on. She was about to yell out for Cupid when she snapped out of her slumber. She’s back in her bed with her phone ringing her scheduled alarm. </p><p>She stretched out her tired limbs, trying to shake the sleep from her system. She was wearing the clothes that she went out with last night. She didn’t recall how she got home, only the odd vivid dream she had about Cupid. </p><p>“Okay, Penelope, maybe it’s time to cut back on the alcohol,” she said to herself. She was about to leave the comfort of her bed when she noticed a ball of paper littered on the floor. She picked it up and opened it. </p><p>It was a receipt for a cup of coffee and a slice of pie. </p><p>“Holy shit.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 13th Night (Desperation Night)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You thought it was two but it's actually three. This is my first foray into straight up comedy and I don't know if I'm hitting all the points. Let me know if you guys like. </p>
<p>Advanced Happy Lupercalia!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>To say that she was confused was an understatement. But underneath the confusion lay an undercurrent of thrill. The frisson of what could be danced on the surface of her skin, tickling her goosebumps. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Because what if it wasn’t a dream? What if Cupid was real? And what if he upholds his end of the bargain? The receipt was there, and it was a solid proof. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was giddy, drunk with bliss. Her facial muscles ached with the constant smile never leaving her face but she paid no heed to the pain. Her coworkers kept giving worried looks in her direction but she didn’t mind. Today was a different day. A significant one, she reckons. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>During lunch time, she received a call from Colin asking her to go out with his siblings for a coming home party tonight. She demurely said yes, but she took the half the day off to go shopping for a slinky dress and to get her hair professionally done. She needed to look her best tonight.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She wore her pink dress that accentuated all her best assets. Her hair, carefully styled to flow freely on her shoulders, looked fantastic. She even wore her fuck-me heels, albeit her walking did suffer slightly. She felt sexy and ready for tonight. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She came fashionably late to the party. She planted herself by the bar, right where Eloise sat. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re battle ready tonight,” her friend teased aloud. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eloise chuckled at her fake nonchalance. “I guess it’s not getting over him after all?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Slightly not. No,” she mumbled as she craned her neck around to look for the celebrant. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So it’s gonna be getting a leg over him then.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s the plan.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Since you’re my favorite, I’ll throw you a bone,” Eloise leaned in conspiratorially, “He’s single right now. And he’s staying in London for a while. Even got himself his own flat.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Penelope beamed. “Really?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He’ll probably tell you himself. He was looking for you a while ago.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Excitement thrummed in her bones. The hope in her heart could not be contained. She could feel her face grow hot, a furious blush spreading rapidly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Try to keep it in your pants, will you?” Eloise badgered her further. “He’s still my brother. I dislike PDAs if it’s not my own.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m trying!” she whispered as her heated face reddened more. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eloise simpered. She somehow produced two tequila shots without just a hand gesture toward the bartender. “Here you go, love. Liquid courage.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Penelope grabbed both shot glasses before Eloise had a chance to take one, and downed it both in one go. “That hit the spot,” she said with a wince. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yikes. Ooh there he is!” Her friend pointed at her brother in the far side of the room. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Colin still appeared as handsome as she remembered. His tall stature made him stand out from the rest of people surrounding him. He had his head thrown back, laughing at whatever Benedict was telling him--most likely at the expense of Anthony, judging at the latter’s scowl. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her heart leapt, crashing through her ribcage, or at least it felt like it. She squared her shoulders, readying herself for battle. If it showcased her ample cleavage, that’s only an added bonus. With a shove from Eloise, she started making her way to Colin. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before she made it across the dancefloor, she bumped into someone carrying a few shot glasses with what smelled like tequila in it. They spilled on the side of her dress and shoes, making her more wobbly than before. The person apologized immediately and left her annoyed. She shrugged it off and contained her laser focus on one man. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was as if he felt the heat of her gaze. Colin grinned at her, excused himself from his brothers and walked towards her. He looked ravishing, with his hair mussed up in a distinct boyish way. And best of all, he was all hers. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He pulled her in a tight embrace. “Pen, it’s been forever! You look amazing tonight.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>How could she resist, when he was so sweet and hot and inviting? She grabbed the lapels of his shirt and pulled him down, crashing her lips into his. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The first thing she noticed was that he was frozen in place, not responding to her kiss at all. Then, he recoiled, pulling away almost instantly. The force of his action almost made her fall on the floor, if not for his quick reflexes. He steadied her by placing a supporting arm on the small of her back. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her heart dropped. Something was very wrong. The evidence was there in front of her, his face gaping at her like a frozen fish. Did it not work? Was she wrong? Did Cupid not use his love arrows on him?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Um, what?” she asked, swooning slightly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you-,” he took a sniff at her, “you reek of booze. Are you drunk right now?” The accusation was heavy in his voice. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yup,” she answered awkwardly. “Had a few tequila shots.” Her voice wavered and she could feel the massive weight of disappointment wash over her. She balled both her fist to will away the tears that were fast approaching. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What was that?” Benedict gleefully asked he stood next to his brother. Anthony came on the other side, nodding in her direction. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was just saying hello, french style,” she fibbed, adding a slur in her speech for effect. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hello?” Coliin asked, still dumbfounded. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Or goodbye. Doesn’t matter.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m afraid I don’t follow,” Anthony asked, his brows furrowing. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Well, she had to commit now, didn’t she? Just to save the vestiges of her dignity. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay, see…” she grabbed Benedict’s shirt to pull him down. Before she can plant a big one on his lips, Colin hauled her away from his brother. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Let’s not kiss the drunk girl, yeah?” His warning came with a bite. Both Anthony and Benedict guffawed loudly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to her saying goodbye,” Benedict teased. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her face was beet red, adding to the image of intoxication. Colin merely punched his brother lightly on the shoulder with his free hand. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You look awfully nice tonight,” Anthony kindly complimented her. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh you know. Desperation night. Gotta represent,” she bit out, cringing visibly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Desperation night?” Colin asked. He pulled her closer as her legs seemed to wobble under their inquiry. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know, the night before Valentine’s day,” she replied. The mention of Valentine’s day made her insides quiver. How could she be so naive to believe all that nonsense? She’s a grown woman that just got swindled by a stranger. She made herself a fool in front of the man she loved. She could feel the tears of humiliation ready to drop. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“A day when single desperate people try to couple,” her voice wavered as big splotchy tears came out, “couple up before Vday.” She started bawling and she could not control it, much to her horror. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The three men in front of her started panicking, with Colin instantly placing a handkerchief in her hands while Anthony ran to get water. Benedict just patted her shoulder. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” she gushed. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why are you crying, Pen?” Colin gently asked her, taking the handkerchief from her hand and wiping her tears away. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because I think I got scammed by a hobo,” she wailed before burrowing her head in Colin’s chest. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Benedict mouthed wow to his younger brother. “She’s really drunk.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m going to take her home,” Colin said. “Tell Anthony for me, will you?” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Go ahead.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Colin herded Penelope out and into his car, while she cried inconsolably. She clutched Colin’s handkerchief like it was an anchor out in a stormy sea. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He gave her bottled water he always kept in his car. “Drink, Pen. It’ll help with the hangover tomorrow.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She sobbed harder at his kindness. “Okay,” she managed to say in between heavy sobs. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He started driving while she looked outside her side window as she tried to control her breathing. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was a while before she had the courage to ask, “Was I bad?” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Huh?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Was I bad at kissing?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He seemed taken aback by her question. “I didn’t hate it,” he said generously. “Let’s talk when you’re more sober, okay?” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oh, that was the final nail in the coffin. She knew she never had the chance yet she still entertained the thought. Now she’s heartbroken and let down by her own stupidity. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m going to kill that fucking hobo,” she muttered angrily. The feeling of humiliation left, only to be replaced with anger and defeat. Fat tears streamed down her face and she didn’t care enough to wipe them away. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This hobo you keep talking about...” Coliin led, clearly being nice to accommodate her drunken statements.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He said he’s Cupid in disguise.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Colin glanced at her in concern. “Right. You said he scammed you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes,” she bit out petulantly. “He made me believe in his bullcrap.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And that is?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He said that he’ll shoot his arrow…” Her voice trailed off as she remembered the conversation she had. The disclaimer Cupid imparted before he offered her a favor rang clear in her mind. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The arrow took away any pre-existing affection, if there were any. The dawning terror seized her as she turned to look at Colin. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I think I made a huge mistake.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 14th Night (Valentine's Day)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy Valentine's Day Polin readers!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Penelope was in a daze. After Colin deposited her to her flat, she wallowed in her bafflement. Colin, of course, offered to stay to take care of her but she managed to send him off. She already ruined his night. She’s not going to further embarrass herself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Instead, she dissected every previous interaction with Colin in her head. From the outside looking in, one would say that they are extremely close friends. They always talk, either through texts or through zoom calls. There was nothing that they held back from each other, dreams and  worries alike. He was the first person she called when she had a particularly bad day. She was the first to know that he wanted to leave and find himself in a series of journeys. He knew when she needed saving from her obstinate mother. She knew when he needed saving from his horrible ex. And they only grew closer through the years. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A stranger might be able to say that they are emotionally together, even through the distance. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why didn’t she see it before? </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He never outright said that he liked her like that. But then again, she never did either. She’s been in love with him half her life but she never had the courage to tell him. And he’s never given her an inclination that it would never happen. If she had confessed instead, she might’ve had a chance. Now, that chance was potentially erased by a split-second decision. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What the fuck did she do?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had to do something. She grabbed her winter jacket and ran outside, not caring that she still had on her slinky dress and stilettos. She raced through the only place she knew he could be, the park. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She ran through the snow and chilly breeze, uncaring and unwavering with her determination. Her nose was red from the cold, or from the tears that freely fell from her desperation. Finally, she found him on a bench, in the far corner of the park. She paused to catch her breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How the fuck do you keep finding me?” Cupid asked when he noticed her angry pants. He was wearing the same clothing from last night and clasping a big paper bag that concealed a liquor bottle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You,” Penelope gasped, “what did you do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean? I shot him with my arrow. Like you wanted.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Something’s wrong. You must have done something wrong,” she said as she sat next to the god. Her breathing was still irregular but she’s more composed now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The god scooted over slightly, grumbling at the loss of available space. “Well, I did everything to the tee. We are even.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think I lost him,” she uttered, looking bereft. Her eyes shone with unshed tears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cupid had let out a sigh. “I did warn you,” he muttered without the usual bite. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t know. I never thought he’d even consider me that way. I was so preoccupied with my fear of his rejection that I never entertained the possibility of him loving me back.” Penelope started crying silently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is why I hate meddling with human emotions,” Cupid said as he took a swig of his alcohol. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t it your job, in the first place?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Precisely, it’s a job. I can hate my job.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is there anything I can do to bring him back?”  She knew she was grasping at straws but she had to try. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gave her a sympathetic glance, gone was the gruffness that he normally exudes. “This is why I always have a disclaimer. Can’t do anything about what it takes away.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you shoot him again with your arrow?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you trying to kill him? The amount of magic that would pour into his heart the second time around would kill him right away.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That fucking sucks,” she replied as she bitterly wiped her tears away. “So that’s it? There’s nothing else I can do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“At least you know now that he loved you back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s even worse! I lost the version that loved me back!” Penelope angrily wiped her runny nose with the sleeve of her coat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cupid shrugged his shoulders. “Tough break.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She stared icily at him but she relented almost immediately. “Who am I kidding? This is all my fault.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That it is,” he agreed with a nod. He had the good grace to blanche at her responding sobs. He awkwardly offered her his bottle. “Drink. Made this myself.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She gratefully drank but spit it out instantly. “What the hell is in this? Horse piss?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The god snatched the bottle. “Ungrateful wench.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seriously, why would you make that? Or consume it?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, one, I can have hobbies too. Can I live? And two, you owe me 5 quid.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She begrudgingly gave him the money. She grabbed the bottle again and took a large gulp. She might as well since she just paid for it. The burn from the alcohol did little to abate the growing numbness she felt. At least the booze packed a wallop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It must suck to have your job.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s a living,” he shrugged again. “Human emotions are both fleeting and lasting. It’s incredibly complex, yet fickle. I’ve seen the best and worst sides of it and what it does to a person,” he stared at her with a twinkle in his eye, “I can take it away. Your affection for him. Want me to?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She gulped down another mouthful. Two sips in and she’s already feeling the alcohol heavy in her system. “That’s a very tempting offer,” she conceded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll be back to being platonic friends. Just as before. No pesky feelings. No pining and no regrets. You won’t even remember the version of him that loved you back.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A version of him that loved me back,” she mumbled in deep thought. A realization dawned within her, bubbling up like a spurt of water from a newly discovered spring. “You just erased a version of him that loved me now. It doesn’t mean I won’t have a chance later down the road. I still have a chance.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For the very first time since she’s met him, she saw him smile. “You and hope, huh? I just knew you’d be a tough case. Kinda makes me optimistic too."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He placed a hand over her head and whispered, “Sleep now, child.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A wave of lethargy washed over her, drowning her mental faculties with drowsiness. The last thing she remembered seeing before succumbing to sleep was a brightly-tipped arrow in her hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*      </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her head pounded as she tried to sit up. It felt like she drank the entire bar last night. She’s amazed she’s still alive. Even raising her hands to her head made her brain throb in pain. She groaned loudly, pushing the thick comforter off her body. She was still wearing the dress from yesterday.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m dying,” she mumbled as she crawled her way out of the bed. She stayed on the floor for a second, letting the nausea pass. When she was sure she’s safe from vomiting, she slowly stood up and ambled out of the room. The kink in her back irked her. It’s what she got for sleeping with her bra on. She hastily undid the hook of her bra and pulled on the straps, successfully taking it off underneath her dress. It fell haphazardly on the floor, right next to her stilettos by the sofa. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Penelope, still discombobulated, took her time to find the fridge in the kitchen. She moaned at the feel of the cold air from the fridge when she opened it, taking a minute to bask in it. She pulled a water bottle and chugged it down in one shot. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Never again. I’m never drinking again,” she mumbled as she scrubbed her face with her hands.     </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A snort of laughter pulled her from her misery. She turned around and saw Colin, perched by the kitchen counter  as he sipped his coffee.  Her jaw fell comically. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good morning,” he casually greeted. But his eyes had a little problem meeting hers. She followed his line of vision and looked down at her chest. Her breasts were almost spilling out of her dress. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Lovely</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Her arms went up to cover her chest promptly. She was instantly conscious of how her hair must have appeared. She was torn between fixing it and covering her breasts.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What, uh...what are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His amusement was far too apparent to her liking. “What am I doing at my flat?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She finally took in her surroundings, recognizing that she was indeed in an unfamiliar apartment. It was tastefully decorated for a bachelor pad. “Oh,” was only her meek reply. Her embarrassment was already through the roof. She’d count it a blessing if a sinkhole suddenly swallowed her whole. In fact, she’s praying for one  right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t remember anything from last night, do you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You brought me home.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shook his head, a gleeful expression never leaving his stupidly handsome face. “No, after that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh god, there’s more. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“No,” she replied with dread.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You showed up at my place a couple of hours after I brought you home. You, uh,” he paused as his cheeks colored a fantastic shade of pink, “told me you liked me and that we should bang it out, vomited on my rug then passed out.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Where the fuck is that sinkhole?</span>
  </em>
  <span> She closed her eyes, willing herself to combust right then and there. When that didn't happen, she was forced to confront the man in front of her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was very drunk...if you can just forget everything that transpired last night, I’d appreciate it.” She eyed his far too pleased expression and groaned again. “You know what, you don’t have to forget. I’ll just throw myself in the Thames river and call it a day. It’s been nice knowing you. Good day!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He laughed heartily. Even with the humiliation filling her every fiber, she had room for a rush of giddiness. She hated herself even more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She crossed the room, as fast as her throbbing head will allow, to where she dropped her bra. She was going to stoop low when her dress rode up. She was torn between covering her chest and her butt. “Fuck me,” she cursed heavily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, this is getting painful to watch,” Colin said in between chuckles. He picked up her brassiere coolly and passed it to her. Then he grabbed her by the shoulders and steered her to the counter, where food and coffee were waiting. “Don’t throw yourself in the river before eating the breakfast I slaved over for you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gee, thanks,” she said sarcastically. He gestured at the frittata on the plate but she refused to move. She just pulled her arms closer to her chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, right.” He took off his sweatshirt and handed it to her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How is he rocking that white undershirt? </span>
  </em>
  <span> She wore it immediately, sneaking a sniff as she put it on. As she expected, it smelled cloyingly good. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did you even know my address?” Colin asked as he piled food on her plate. “Even Anthony didn’t know yet.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. I don’t even remember the knocking on your door.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, that’s right. Hang on.” When he came back, he handed her a brightly-tipped arrow with a note wrapped on it. “You were holding on to that when you knocked on my door.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All the memories from the park came rushing in. She undid the note and read it aloud, “Now we’re really even. For the pie.” Suddenly, her showing up on Colin’s doorstep was not a mystery anymore. She pulled the arrow from Colin’s grasp, knowing what might happen if he accidentally stabbed himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” she said thickly. Between her throbbing head and her tumultuous emotions, she’s close to becoming a blubbering mess. She grabbed a fork and ate a piece of the frittata. It was very delicious. “Now, that’s just unfair.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? Is it over seasoned?” Colin sampled her plate. “I don’t think so.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She could not help the tears drop as she scowled at the food on her plate. “It’s fucking unfair. I feel so cheated.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Colin tilted his head in confusion. “By the frittata?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shook her head. “How could you be so perfect when I’m a mess? I lost something really important to me. It hurt. It felt like I lost the other half of my heart. But even with all that, I still don’t feel an ounce of regret doing this,” she snapped the arrow into two. She watched as the bright sheen on the tip of the arrow slowly faded into nothing. She cried harder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Colin gathered her into his arms tightly. “I’ll help you find what you lost. It’s okay. I’m here.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Penelope knew that she might never get back what was gone, but she had to try. She’ll be brave this time. She had to, she owed it to the Colin that was lost and she owed it to herself to chase her happiness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She pulled away from him and tried to compose herself. “Last night,” she hiccupped, “I meant it. Everything from last night. Not the vomit and the banging. Well, a little bit of the banging. You know what, forget about the banging. We’ll get there when we get there. What I meant to say is that I really like you,” she rambled on nervously, not giving him an inch to interrupt, “for a while now.  In fact, I think I’m in love with you. So there.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She saw his stupefied face. “Say something?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He blinked a few times. Then he examined her carefully. “Are you still drunk?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All her hopes were dashed. Her heart plummeted pathetically at her feet. She had to salvage whatever’s left of her dignity. “I think I need to go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before she could stand up, he stopped her. “No, wait. Hang on. I just wanted to make sure you’re fully sober before I do this.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He closed the gap between them, pulled her closer into his arms and crashed his lips onto hers. His lips were urgent with need, stoking a raging fire within her. She responded eagerly, placing a hand at the back of his head. His tongue teased at hers, evoking a moan at every flicker. He tasted sinfully good, like a nectar of the sweetest fruit. When they finally came up for air, he gently murmured in her ear, “I’ve been wanting to do that since last night.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Even with the vomit?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He chuckled and kissed her temple. “Even with the vomit. Since you drunkenly kissed me at the bar.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you said you didn’t like it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I said I didn’t hate it. It felt like I took advantage of your drunken state.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh. Does that mean you like me too?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do. Although, I’m not sure if I can say that I’m in love with you yet. I’m not there yet. But you make me want to dive all in with whatever we have. I’m sure I’d end up loving you with all of me.  If there is someone I can fall in love with, I always knew it would be you. Is that okay? I want this and I want you. Will you give me a chance?”  He was a picture of uncertainty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn't settling. It was a promise. She might have lost a version of him that was already in love with her, but he’s found his way back to her. She can be patient. And she will not squander this opportunity again. She nodded, wiping away the happy tears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How about it? Want to go on a date with me, Pen?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay. Coffee?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stood up and picked up the coffee pot from the kitchen counter. “Coming right up!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is not our first date. Not when I made a mess last night,” she grumbled. “And I’m not properly dressed.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you talking about? You look perfect.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She blushed. “You’re just saying that because you almost got to second base,” she groused. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He grinned, gleeful as a kid in a candy store. “That may be,” she swatted his arm, “but that doesn’t excuse the fact that you look incredibly beautiful this morning.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He poured her some coffee and stole a kiss from her reddened cheek. She tried to tame her riotous red curls. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Adorable," he insisted as he forced another bite of frittata on her lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn't fight both the food and the smile blooming on her lips. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"What's the deal with the arrow?" he asked as he toyed with half of the broken arrow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She beamed. "It started with this hobo in the park. Actually, what do you know about Cupid?" </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ya'll I don't know what happened here. It actually was going to be worse, if not for @barricadegal. Thanks dear! Sorry, I really tried with this one. Lemme know if y'all like or hate. I'd accept that too.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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